Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

You can learn to laugh

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

It is reported by one of the leading experts on health and laughter, William Fry, M.D. that adults have simply forgotten how to laugh. He reports that a child in kindergarten laughs approximately 300 times where as an adult barely reaches 17 laughs on a good day. Sure, there is much more stress, we are uptight and we have a lot more responsibility but maybe there is something to learn from these kindergartners.  We need to laugh a lot more!

William James (1842 – 1910), who many consider the Father of American positive psychology once said, “We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we are happy because we laugh.”  We have also heard it said that laughter is the best medicine.  In 1976 The New England Journal of Medicine published an article by Norman Cousins which a few years later became the first chapter in his 1979 book Anatomy of an Illness. In this book Cousins explains how he found relief from an acute inflammation of the spine known as Bechterew Disease.  Cousin’s case was so severe his situation was declared hopeless and was given only months to live.

Cousins, knowing that negative thoughts and attitudes can result in illness; he reasoned that positive thoughts and attitudes may have the opposite effect. With this in mind he checked himself out of the hospital and went to a hotel where he consumed vitamin C and watched humorous movies and TV shows including ‘Candid Camera’ and the Marx Brothers.  In just a few days he found that ten minutes of boisterous laughter resulted in at least two hours of pain-free sleep. He continued his routine until he recovered.

Today, laughter is considered therapy and you can join and participate in AATH – American Association of Therapeutic Humor, join a laughter club and even become a laughter leader. Either way, if you can learn to laugh and make is a daily practice you will increase your positive emotions, improve your immune system, and relieve stress and pain.

Here are ten benefits to laughter:

1.       Laughing at yourself dis-empowers those who would make fun of you and it disarms possible confrontations.

2.       Laughter dissolves stress, tension, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief and depression.

3.       Laughter boosts the immune system.

4.       Laugher reduces pain by releasing endorphins that are more potent than morphine in certain doses.

5.       Humor helps integrate both hemispheres of the brain.

6.       People with a sense of humor are more productive, communicate better and are considered a better ‘team player.’

7.       Laughter and humor attract others. You will have more friends.

8.       Laughter helps you cope with adversity and failure.

9.       Laughter, robust laughter is equivalent to a small amount of exercise and actually burns calories.

10.   Laughter increases your energy.

If laughter is good for kindergartners then it is good for us. Find at least one thing to laugh at today. If, nothing comes to you then try this: go to a semi-private space and stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Raise your hands in the air and reach as high as you can. Now, start to bend at the waist keep your arms straight and as you do so, say out loud “ha, ha, ha, ha” – repeating it as you bend. Repeat the exercise 10 times.

I know this seems like a silly thing to do. But if you can get over the silliness and do this at least once a day for 7 days you will be amazed at the positive emotions it will create.

Another quite practical thing you can do is to find something to laugh at. For today, look at this video – it will make you laugh.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk

You can re-learn to laugh!

Good News, Bad News

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

How good of a friend are you? How good of a husband or wife are you? What is a better indicator of your friendship or relationship: How you react to good news or how you react to bad news?

When I ask this question most people immediately say that how they react to bad news is a better indicator of friendship and love. I can understand that. When you hear bad news from a friend or from your partner you know how to react. You show compassion, love and concern. That is how most of us are trained to react to show that we care. However, how you react to good news is a better indicator of how good a friend or spouse you are.

For the most part we are not trained how to react to good news. If a colleague were to tell you they were just promoted, could you honestly feel happy for them without thinking why you didn’t get the promotion? Let’s say your sister were to stop by to show you her new car. Would you be excited for her and show it or would you feel that you deserve a new care more than she does? If you have a hard time with good news, you are in good company.

How you react to good news is an indicator of your self-esteem and self-worth. Happy people show true excitement for the good news of others without making a comparison to themselves. In marriages where the couples know how to feel and show pride, happiness, and excitement when their partner shares good news there is a better chance of staying together than couples where one partner or the other has a hard time hearing and reacting to the good news.

It is not the bad news that makes the difference, it is the good news. One way to change your reaction to good news is to create and maintain an abundance mentality. Just because one person has something good happen to them does not mean that it won’t or can’t happen to you.

There is more than enough good to go around. If you look at your life and only see what you are lacking, that is what you will find. Try looking at your life differently and noticing how much you have, how strong you are, how many talents you have. This allows you to feel true excitement for great things that happen to those around you. At the same time, there is an energy that flows from good news. Get as close to the good news as you can and let that energy rub off on you.

If you could do one thing to strengthen your social connections, friendships, marriage or relationships with your co-workers, learn how to be happy for them. It will make a huge difference.

Kirk