Emotional addictions are just as powerful and can be just as devastating as physical addictions such as nicotine, drugs and alcohol. One such emotional addiction is praise. We all want to be acknowledged and validated but when our self-worth or our self-esteem depends on the praise of others we may have a praise addiction.

Praise addiction is characterized by a lifestyle that revolves around eliciting positive attention from others by putting yourself in situations where you strive for recognition or by surrounding yourself with friends who consistently flatter you giving you the fix you so desperately need. Just like other addictions, you will feel the manic high associated with a fix and the despair as the high wears off. The ups and downs of praise addiction require serious consideration.

Praise, in moderation, is a good thing. However, many parents over-praise their children in an attempt to raise self-esteem. Self-esteem is raised by doing, by accomplishment, by achieving, not by praise. Confidence without competence is arrogance. It is quite possible that well meaning parents, teachers and other mentors have conditioned you to only feel valued when you are praised. Don’t fall into that trap! You are good enough on your own even if no one tells you.

The first step to recovery is to recognize and then admit you have a problem. This is generally very difficult. Praise addicts can’t just ask a friend because friends are the most likely supply of this powerful drug. If you crave attention from others, if you consistently feel despair if someone hasn’t said something nice or praised you in some way then you are an addict.

Don’t quit ‘cold turkey.’ Recovery from praise addiction is similar to other addictions in that it is an ‘inside out’ process. After recognizing you have a problem I recommend that you start to substitute self-love principles in place of the praise you crave. This requires some soul searching learning to see yourself as worthy, loveable, and sufficient. Remember, your default nature is divine, you have great qualities and you have great strengths. Be objective about yourself and learn to savor your own accomplishments without having someone tell you so.

For many people the road to recovery includes a religious or spiritual component. This is not unlike recovery from other more common addictions. Learning to rely upon a higher power, for me this is God, as your source of praise, your source of love, you can then use that love as a basis for recovery. You are divine; you have all you need to feel love and be loved. As you let God’s love distill upon you, the need for praise from others is diminished.

It is not the praise itself that is bad, it is the craving and need to support the addiction by the praise-lifestyle. Learning to love yourself for who you are, even with all of your flaws and inadequacies, is the quickest and most permanent cure for praise addiction.

Kirk

Tags: Emotional Addiction, God, praise, self-esteem, self-worth, validation

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 17th, 2009 at 5:46 pm and is filed under Emotional Addiction, Happiness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.